oh dear crap i cant think of one

The tragedy of today’s tabloid media most specifically being its trivial version of so called factual information has finally become clear to me. It has taught my mother to lie. Not just the a little fib but full blown in your face life changing stories just to teach me a life lessons and to keep me from doing anything remotely enjoyable. I cannot simply believe the vast amounts of mothers of drug victims, violent abuse, car accidents and teenage pregnancies that she has met.

The stories are rich and well crafted. They involve individuals apparently met in my infant years a convenient period where my memory is lacking. For some odd reasons these transfers of great knowledge occur with chance encounters at supermarkets and shopping centres places I would not dare be seen with my mother. The whole thing just feels like a real life version of today tonight. The dark and ominous music is stuck on repeat and the smudged lens guilting me into changing my life.

It is at this point my mother’s greatest flaw is realised. You have to be of rather low intelligence to believe a word of the rubbish fed by current affairs shows. It’s the kind of viewing that only can appeal to the common house wife (or as required in modern times, house man) just dreaming for that exciting escape of mischief and disaster within their domestic boundaries to once again feel the thrill of life outside of the home and away from the clutches of slobbering children. It is that finger grip that holds off insanity. So in this sense my mother has chosen an audience of herself because I can promise you nobody else is listening.