More unnecessary teacups wont put food on the table. But they will put tea there.

"Am I really all the things that are outside of me? Do I complete myself, without the things i like around?"

So, to begin with, some lyrics from an amazing song... but more to the point, it has come to my attention the enormity of things that I seem to have floating around, physical and otherwise. I decided yesterday, when I was walking home juggling my giant bag of clothes from staying away over the weekend and an antique cupcake holder, that maybe I am slightly a kleptomaniac. Which, in itself doesn't make sense, you can't be SLIGHTLY a murderer... or SLIGHTLY craving ramen. It's all or nothing muchacho. But anyhow, I decided it was time for a little stock take. Here are some of my unnecessary 'things':

26 - Vintage, lacey, frilly, foofy, amazing...no really... but oh so ridiculous dresses.



184 - The number of overly specific, fashion/ culture related magazines I have bought in less than two years. Quiet, you.

6- The number of lamps I seem to have slowly started collecting; my room has a 6 or so meter high ceiling... and there IS a light fitting up there. However, my excellently prepared household doesn't have a ladder, country living at its very best. I did one day attempt to balance various pieces of furniture precariously to get up there... but ahhh the less said about that day the better.

21 - Handbags, clutches, purses, oh dear. I seem to collected so many... due to prettiness. Yet I don't use them. Hum.

1- Antique wooden birdcage. What?

17- Mismatched, kitchy as hell teacups and saucers. it's basically just preparing for the loneliness that is 'old age' early. I'm so close. I can practically taste it! Oh, apologies, the elderly and tasting should be mixed in the same sentence. Nom nom.

1 - 'Give Way' road sign. I'm not even sure. The story goes is that I have 21 acres... and I stumbled upon it on a small pathway through the trees, on a night walk. Followed by a 'wrong way go back' sign. Truth be told I was officially diagnosed with the heebie jeebies. So of course I took he sign and ran. Well. It's not easy to run with a sign. You know, ambled or something.



7 - Embarrassingly (read 'Amazingly') retro chairs. Ranging from burnt orange to lime green...they're just a spot to put more of my things really. And put things I do.

9 - Tiny owl figurines. I'm not sure why but I find them adorably creepy. So therefore I have begun to collect a mass of them in my shadow box on the wall. When last opshopping, I did get a little childishly excited (as in the shake-fists-in-a-frenzied-manner type of excited) when I found a collection of about 30 tiny owls. Most likely some lonely old woman had died and had them donated to the store. I, of course, was thrilled.

12 - Books to read sitting on my bedside table. They're so patient. And I'm so awful- I haven't had time to read lately, and I've been keeping such great writers as Asimov and Proust stuffed underneath a series of half finished cups of tea. Rude.

2 - Records... they're so lovely i really need to invest in more. My prize being the original soundtrack to the Flaming Lips' feature film 'Christmas on Mars'... aptly described as a 'fantastical freakout film!', practically written and filmed while the main actor dabbled in his heroin/ acid/ various habits, and all together amazing. If you haven't heard of the Lips, start there. If you have, see this film. And then by the soundtrack on vinyl. It's the most fun you can have involving decrepit suicidal Santas, outer space, monologues, hallucinations and budget-built sets. Radical.

10 - Strands of colourful beads. maybe if I wear enough people wont realise I am still unemployed, and lacking direction. Yes?

19867986340 - Moths. And small bugs. MY GOSH BE GONE WITH YOU. See the trouble is, my room is precariously balanced on the third floor, with 6 meter high windows. And I'm not sure if you've ever attempted to find curtains that large (well, if you have, let's be friends), but it is impossible. Therefore my room reaches a squillion degrees during the day. And at night I have to open my windows to cool it (oh technology...). But I have oh so many moths in here... did I mention I'm partially afraid of moths? Especially the kamakazee style ones who fly at your face. Not to mention they're all furry, ergh.





1 - Original style Sailor's cap. Not sure why I bought that one. NO WAIT. Yes I am. because it's fantastic.

5 - Hand painted babushka dolls... gosh they are a creepy concept. They used to make me worried that their was a series of smaller mes stuck inside the outer shell of myself. Why yes, I was a normal eight year-old.

6 - Empty to partly empty packets of medication. That does make me sound like a crazy, but truly, I've been annoyingly sick for the past two or so months. But it does make me feel like some sort of hipster-yet-repressed writer type. I need to collect a few more empty wine bottles (1) to achieve that. Oh, and learn how to write. Chyeah.

0 - Thoughts for the future or ambitions... well except secret/ unachievable ones which I may disclose at a later date.
So... 'Am I really all the things that are outside of me?'
If so that makes me some kind of mecha teapot wielding, vintage-dress-wearing-owl, robot-doll kleptomaniac librarian moth child. Which isn't too far from that unachievable ambition I mentioned.

1 - *Large sighs*.

Fin.

<3