entertain me

Firstly I would like to apologise for my extended absence from this blog. I was busy destroying horcruxes with some friends and the whole thing got a bit out of hand, I mean, people lost body parts and there were a few deaths. It's all fine now though; I got them all.

A few of the lovely boys who are contributors to this blog have told me that I should post something new because the last post by Mysterious Follower has been at the top of the page for far too long, and I have been MIA for far too long. The recent post from Frankly did make me pause and wonder if I should post, but I had already written my first paragraph so I thought I may as well continue. This prompted me, as usual, to search my brain for interesting things that have happened to me in recent times that I could possible write about. After many long hours of thinking (while doing other stuff of course, I didn't just sit and stare at the computer) I came to the conclusion that nothing interesting or exciting ever happens to me; so why not write a post about that?

That's not to say that my life is boring; I do many things that I enjoy at the time, but looking back on them, they really aren't that exciting. I know that many people can relate to the idea of a non-eventful life. As Follower just said; "my life is that uninteresting I want to read about someone else's boring life". Now, I am quite sure that there are people out there whose everyday events are ridiculously exciting, but the question is: who are these people, and does anyone have some sort of brain switching device so that I can, perhaps for only one day, live a life of T0t3z Ep1C-ness so that I may provide you readers with something awe inspiring rather than running out of ideas as I am sure will happen sooner or later? Now I originally had a full stop at the end of that sentence rather than a question mark, but I then realised that I began the sentence with the intention of it being a question before it developed into more of a statement. This problem arises quite often since my sentences usually drag on to the point of lunacy, which results in forgetting how it started, forgetting the initial intentions, changing topics completely without adding important aspects, the overuse of commas, brackets, and semi colons (which, as you know, are my absolute favourite forms of punctuation), and the general loss of any noticeable sentence structure.

So, disregarding my complete lack of any direction in the previous paragraph, we can move on to the slightly more interesting topic of nothing interesting; sounds interesting I think. Well let's all think about this for one moment; is anyone's life really that interesting? I want to know how many times that this website, not this particular blog but the BlogSpot site in general, has shown posts about exactly the same thing. A good, recent example of this is the incredibly large mass of posts about OWeek. On this blog alone, five different posts on this, and closely related, early-uni topics, have been written from different perspectives. There must be MILLIONS (that's right, millions, no exaggeration) of different people posting at least one (possibly more; THE HORROR) post about starting university and the array of condoms and bottle openers being thrust upon them. Readers will have seen this topic over and over again, and yet they still read because even such uninteresting events that seem so perfectly easy to write about that they become repeatedly used topics can be oh so fun to read about. I am not sure if 'fun' is the right word here, but it cannot merely be a method of passing the time or all of these people would be reading inappropriately sexual Harry Potter fan fiction which should be far more entertaining. Is it possible that people in internet land actually want to read about our mundane and frighteningly similar lives because we know exactly how to please a reader and how to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary? That's unlikely; my posts rarely make things sound extraordinary. Perhaps it is the fact that they want to know that other people have the same monotonous days as they do, but know how to create entertainment out of it using clever wording, hilariously irritating rambling, fantastic vocabulary (obviously not in my case), stupid examples that are often quite far from the point, and badly written rhetorical questions that prolong a sentence and confuse the writer as to the type of punctuation that should be used at the end of it.

For my own happiness, I guess I should ask for something GOOD interesting to happen to me; something that can entertain the readers while at the same time making my life a little better, but does it need to be GOOD interesting? Perhaps something BAD interesting would be better. Although this wouldn’t make me happy at the time, I’m certain that it would make a deliciously delightful story for the blog. Embarrassing or painful stories are always a big hit with the public, which is why Funniest Home Videos has managed to stay on the air for so long; come on, it isn’t very clever. The problem is, neither of these types of interesting things has happened to me recently, but I still manage to write a blog, so are things worth writing about necessarily worth doing? This post, I hope, was fairly interesting to read, so it looks like the uninteresting is the new interesting. Thanks for reading.
-Renji