Can you be sure you're reading this?...

I'm back again, inspired by Damacus's feeble attempts to reignite the collective interest of our four readers, and my regular procrastination from the three vacuous white blobs of paper void of any visible attempts to begin writing the three 1000 word essays expected from me when i return to uni. *takes deep breath after reading that sentence aloud*... As we should all know by now, blogging is the quintessential medium for evading reality, whilst still being able to salvage some deluded sense of validity and connection with the outside world. With this in mind, i decided that i would do a little bit of soul searching in this blog and yes you can listen in. I know that half of you have nothing you would rather spend your time doing than satisfying your odd voyeuristic tendencies by reading my progression into perpetual confusion.
The thing is, i really can't expect you all to get where i'm coming from because really i can't be sure that you all exist. You're all possibly figments of my senses, perhaps you don't really inhere in, or belong to a physical world, but instead you're just effects of my mind... There are some people for whom i truly wish this was so, then maybe i could just drink a shitload of methylated spirits with orange juice..CLASSY! or inject a dose of horse tranquilizer and BAM i'd just forget who they were.
Maybe god gets me... hey maybe he's sitting up on his throne of diamonds (i really don't actually know how comfortable that would be to be honest but it does evoke a nice image doesn't it) thinking "you know i get this guy, all i needed in my omniscient existence is another kid who thinks he's a deep thinker but really he can just use a fuckload of adjectives to embellish a sentence so it resembles something close to a coherent stringing together of words." But alas, here we come to obstacle number two - the existence of God is about a fickle concept as they come. Now, we could traverse around the issue, or we could do a Hannibal of Carthage and say "fuck it, you know we're going to take these thousand elephants and cross the mountains - it'll be far more fun that way and everyone loves fun!" And we all know how that ended, Hannibal marched into Rome as fresh as a daisy, uzis blazing and raped the Romans for everything they had fathering 40,000 children and incurring a three century dynasty of little Hannibals until Napoleon Bonaparte stumbled on Rome in 574AD and told the Carthaginians they had little choice but to work for little to no pay under strict apartheid rule. And that ladies and gentlemen is the history of how black slavery came about in Modern Europe...a good blog post is never complete without a flagrant disregard for any legitimate referencing - who needs facts when we have wikipedia?
Mmmm I digress... so yeah I was discussing the whole "god thing" with a friend of mine the other day and "god" is one of those subjects that consistently spurs me into a raging, horned cynic. Frankly, i haven't really ascertained exactly what it is about the idea that irks me the most, but i think it's mostly the rabid hypocrisy that every modern church has and still does display in the history of monotheistic religion as we know it. I mean in all honesty, it only takes a modicum of reflective thought to realise that religion as we know it is about as flawed and ignorant as is possible within reason. I may be a bias, ignorant prick but i do recognise the distinction between faith and religion and yes religion is very separate from faith, but i think the idea of human centred religion is so outdated it has become redundant in a modern context.
The Scientologists are one of the few modern religious institutions with a system of beliefs that is not only ultimately relevant to existence as we perceive it, but also with a founder that has the credibility to truly understand and contemplate the enormous complexities of the universe and our place in it.

Anyway, i have to cut this short as i have to go out and buy a cask of goon so that hopefully by the end of it i'll have forgotten the existence of a few people....

Yours sincerely,
Frank-Lee, A. Musing.