WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER MY NAME?!

I have negative charisma. I swear... okay, yeah, I'm shit at people, because I'm a self oriented, judgemental and manipulative bastard... but surely you could at least remember who I am... wait no, that doesn't sell...

I'm attempting to transfer to Melbourne University this semester, unfortunately I need paperwork that should've arrived a week ago. They can reference things like that when I try to uproot the failing bureaucratic procedure from the human race and am promptly martyred. Aaanyway, I'm fairly sure my marks hardly qualify me, but I sent the application before I got them, so now I have the crushingly terrible task of having my 61 average willingly and casually dismissed. My birth wasn't my fault, don't expect me to give anything back to the world, I didn't touch your 'state of the economy', 'good of the nation' or 'upheld values'. I WASN'T INVITED, SOMEONE ELSE DRAGGED ME HERE, I SWEAR...

Soooooooooooooo... I've sent this application, and so I check my emails today:

'Dear Joshua'

Oh... fucking mature... salt to the wound.

I have siblings. Meaning my parents might as well not have bothered naming me. Nomenclature is the most widespread illusion, a belief enforced by irrationality and contempt for consistently waiting for the third introduction before people don't have to ask... Grrr

Well, I've got this email for someone who immediately conjures a portrait of educational diligence, drive for success and abstinence from fantasizing about self harm when in the presence of another grotesquely superior example of humanity. Fuck you Joshua... I was doing fine not being reminded of my own cancerous presence.

Reminds me of how *EVERY potential employer I've ever had has forgotten my name as well. I know I have a feeble acrostic poem for a resume...

My
Availability
Tuesday
Three
Hours
Every
Week

When do I start?

*Crucible Tongs NEVER exaggerates

My last 'job' from which I've already been swiftly expunged gave me Mark... then Derek and from there Dave. At what point does that make a sliver of sense? I just gave up and started responding to all three. The ability of the human mind to rationalise my responding to three different names in half an hour is hilarious when you're a scathing, sniping embittered jerk though...

Ugh, well I'm tired and hungry, but too lightheaded to go and blend a smoothie. No pictures tonight, I give up, they're too cumbersome and disgusting when done badly. I'll leave that to other people here who do it plenty better. Well, we've both put up with me this long, so why not reward yourself? Get something nice... I have to spend my rewards on billboard sized nametags to delay complete breakdown so I'm going this way... BYE