I don't feel like it...

Alright, so yes some ideas aren't bright. It's true. I'll reference Mysterious Follower's post, as this is essentially a blog-length comment on it, meshed into an counter-view of mine. Anyway, a key point in that post was that not having time to think things through results in brash decisions. I completely agree with this and won't be arguing against it. In fact, this isn't even an argumentative response. Indeed it's simply another page of the same book.

So in that post, a model was represented. Opportunity --> "I can do that..." --> Execution of the idea --> The tipping point --> Reflection. Now obviously the external factors aren't within our control, which makes discussing the levels of opportunity pretty pointless, unless we dab into self created opportunities, but we'll leave that for another time. Instead, I'll draw your attention to that second phase. Replace it with the words "I don't want to..." or "I don't feel like it..." or "I don't think I should..." This changes the entire sequence to something like this. Opportunity --> Doubt --> Refusal of idea --> Opportunity is missed --> Reflection. Strangely enough, they end the same, but we're looking at a completely different monster. Anyone who has seen Yes, Man! or is familiar with its main theme and concept, might have an idea where I'm going with this.

So the resonating statement of Mysterious Follower's post was: "The four words that lead to every life changing experience and misguided decision; 'I can do that'" - and, as you can see, I've highlighted a particular part. What's important here is to not make the mistake of assuming that any changes to life are bad. I know I can't speak for MF's circumstances, but I feel some positive influence needs to be present, even just for the blog itself. Ask yourself, "what do I enjoy?" Not, "what do I do?" I think most of us would be surprised how much the answers differ. It's an area in which I'm particularly critical of myself. I'll give you an example with two short lists.

What I enjoy:

Spending time with my friends, family

Talking to my girlfriend

Playing video games

Walking/Traveling

Listening to music

Dining

Speaking German

Reading
Writing

Movies (Cinema)

Television/DVDs

Blogging

What I'm usually doing:

Playing video games

Listening to music

Talking on msn

Surfing the Internet

Blogging

Eating

Sleeping

Being alone

Now there are some interesting conclusions I draw from this. One, I spend way too much time alone, which whilst I accept is something I need to do, due to my particular personality - it's definitely still excessive. Secondly, out of all the activities I enjoy that can be done alone, I only usually do 3 out a potential 6. Thirdly, I spend too much time in front of a television or computer screen. Fourthly, I don't socialise or communicate as much as I'd like. However, the problem is, I just can't figure out why. I have hundreds of books I could be reading at this very moment. Plenty of DVDs to watch. Anyone I want to talk to is a phone call away. I can always walk out the door and experience nature. My friends invite me to things constantly - albeit occasionally things I don't like - and even the times that I genuinely would enjoy, I tend to pass up on. The questions remains, "why?"

I don't think it's a matter of me suddenly clicking and doing all of these things. I think it's got to come from a change in lifestyle, and that change might just need to be learned through a similar program, as the one featured in Yes, Man! Call me crazy, but I think the message of that movie is strong. Obviously there are still boundaries for individual people, and I could never see myself bunging jumping off a bridge, but surely I could go with a few more drunken nights with my friends? However it's a process. I daresay if that opportunity arose this week, I'd probably pass up on it. It's important to start small.

So whilst I'm all for thought before action, sometimes I believe a little spontaneity is necessary - and can do an individual a world of good. There's no reason to be opposed to new things, just because of bad experience in the past. Life's ever changing, but if you don't experience it, you'll get left behind.

Give and Take

Alright gang, round 3. Today let's discuss subjectivity. I think it's one of the greatest things about humans, but also most destructive, in regard to cohesion. We're all different because of subjectivity - it's what shapes our likes, interests, preferences etc. This is obviously a very important aspect of our lives, and prevents us from being mindless drones of the system (to use some strange metaphor, I barely understand, nor care much about) - however, there is a downside. Whilst subjectivity shapes what we like, it also shapes what we dislike, and generally the levels are in the extreme. Naturally there is some indifference, but when it comes to socialising, indifference to something is just as bad as disliking it. You can't make conversation on something you hate, or something you don't care about.

Just think about all the people you've spoken to, but then after learning a few things they're interested in the conversation has just died in the arse. Not because you're both mean or because you neccessarily find each other uninteresting, but because you can't relate in anyway. You usually bring up a staple topic, like work, school, relationships etc. However, these can only get you so far. You can't really socialise with someone new if you only talk about your individual experience. At some stage, people get sick of hearing about your past. You  need to be pro-active in mainting a good friendship.

However, this is hard with subjectivity. I see many people who forego their subjectivity, even doing things they hate, to have experiences with the people around them. That's something special. Don't get me wrong, I do it too, but it's not easy. Everytime I go to a house party, there's music, which to me, is absolutely atrocious. Yet, I put up with it everytime I go. Inevitably however, it gets to the point where I don't want to go because I just wouldn't be able to handle the music. It builds up. People can only take so much of things they don't like. You need a balance. Which is why it's up to everyone to try and indulge in everyone's interests. Not just dismiss them straight away - even if you hate them. That's not how we grow as people, and as friends. Like most things in relationships, it's give and take. You're friends to begin with, that means there's some common ground already - you just have to accomodate for each other. There is fun in everything. So give and take.

2067, how I yearn for thee.

I know I don't contribute much to this "group blog" of which, to be perfectly honest I still don't really understand the purpose of - however I can not sleep, feel like writing and as a consequence shall proceed to write about being unable to sleep.

Remove the shirt, and place a laptop on the bed - it's me!

No doubt, you know of an "identity" on these pages who suffers from bouts of Insomnia, well if we're keeping a list of such people, you can count me in. Tonight is one of those nights. I've been sitting at this computer for nearly the entire evening, from around 6pm til now, albeit with about 2 hours break when my best friend visited for some quality time with Donkey Kong Country. So it's what, 2.30am now? That's about 6.5 hours at this screen. Granted I did do some blogging, and write a short news article for Vooks - but aside from that could we call this anything short of an internet addiction?

 Curse you ice level! I blame you for this! Oh the pain :\

You know, I'm not even sure it's that. Maybe it's a technology addiction. However, what I do know is, my heavy reliance on the internet and technology itself does prevent me from doing other activities, such as exercise, more acceptable levels of socialising - and plain just leaving the house. This is one problem, but as I alluded to before, I believe it runs deeper than that. I think this reliance morphs sleep into something I neither really wish to do, nor can due to over stimulation of my mind.

Why would I sleep, when I could make this blog post - further stimulating my mind? It's ironic that I'm making this post because my mind is simulated, preventing me from sleep. It's a cruel, vicious and unforgiving cycle. "I'm thinking too much and I can't sleep" "Why don't you do something then?" "Now I'm thinking even more and sleep seems even more out of reach." Curious, no?

Another curious point is: if I have a day of feeling completely lethargic, I can actually follow a decent sleeping pattern, indefinitely. However, if this slips for a single day - it does back to the same 11-12 noon risings from bed, leaving a good 3-5 hours completely wasted on this non-achieving activity we call rest. However is there a solution? I'm not so sure. An on/off switch would be desireable.

How's this: In the future we'll have nanomachines that with a flick of a button can actually put us to sleep for a set period of time - but still wake us up if they detect loud noises, fire etc. People in the future will have things so easy.

 Snake approves.

To close; as my laptop battery is lurking torwards dangeours levels of lowness, I bid you adieu and good night. Aiming for a 9am wake.