You all just edged away didn't you? Yeah, I can definitely forgive you for expecting a typical Tongan trite existential rant, culminating in me clutching my head in the corner while you roll your eyes and find something to entertain yourselves with in DARPA's ninth circle...
Google HQ, come on, this has to be our Great Deceiver...
Not tonight, I'm not in the mood... (pauses for outcry and chatter). I just have absolutely no idea why I'm typing, here in this box right now. Maybe I've got stuff I want to say, maybe I've got stuff I NEED to say? Or maybe I'm just losing my mind like I've been suspecting of late and this was the logical destination of this evening's horrifying lack of... well, anything.
Yes, this is directionless. In that I'm admitting it's directionless. If you want to look at this artistically then take it as allegory for life, who the hell can admit they really know where they're going?
While I remember, Thankyou. Okay? Seriously THANK YOU, you've got no idea, but you deserve it.
Being able to hear the wind is one of those awesomely disconcerting things. It doesn't have a tune, but you hear it. You don't get to see it but you feel it. I have no idea. This is what I'm thinking right now, so I'm typing it up. Because I think like the wind, I can't see it, I just have this vague sense that everything I do is backed by rationality. I'm moved along like clouds by something I can't control. Then it becomes tragic. The world shatters like glass, and now it's cold and lonely.
Where did the wind come from?
Where does it go?
Does the wind die?
Did it have a place somewhere once, but passed over it in search of it's destination? Is it just being guided along like everything at it's mercy? Is it just running from everywhere it's been and all the little disappointments it's name carries?
Is this insanity? Just thinking these things? The origin of wind? Compassion for it... Just remembered something. When I was a child I saw a glove in the mud. It was raining. It just seemed sad. Something that was a part of someone left without them, likely never to get back to it's proper place. I won't lie, my early childhood just seems like a mess of adjustment issues to be honest. It's kind of funny, but it seemed like one of the greatest tragedies I'd ever witness. Now for the confession. I never really fully got over that. To this day stuff like that just strikes m...
ANNAHYDE!! YOU JUST INTERRUPTED MY COLD MECHANICAL THOUGHT PROCESS WITH YOUR NOTE TAGGING.
And you've never seen me cry, figures, afterall, We Write a Blog 'Together'... (Yes I am about to steal inspiration, close those mouths, Mary Poppins would be rolling in her grave)
I can't remember when I cried last. Life's too fun to cry. I remember feeling really guilty for not crying, I remember TRYING to cry. But I can't so I must be awesome or a robot. I know as a kid I was always crying or not talking or just casualy talking about geography and word meanings based entirely on my nonsensical dreams (TRUE STORY) making people think 'That boy'll snap and kill us all one day' (Bowdlerised extensively). I have to stop talking about my childhood, I start to remember stupid little things... like crying at the thought of having my photo taking, crying because noone would believe me, crying becau... OK ENOUGH.
The everyday emotional plight of the wind, sympathy for lost things and the early warnings of some debilitating personality disorders... By now you must be wanting to leave, I understand, this is therapeutic for me and downright nightmarish and awkward for you, so some spontaneous poetry to lift the mood...
All the equipment to fly
And the mindset to try.
There's an alien cage
of matching age
More time goes by
It's song from it's cry.
A shadow.
Not what it was.
It shuffles on it's perch,
gives voice to dawn.
And when it's sun sets
on the forgotten regrets
illegitimate tragedy
born from a transformation.
There's noone to sing anymore,
No one to sleep, no one to sit,
noone to sleep or live in their shit
But what was that thing?
Why'd it have wings?
Because it kept creeping back behind the bars
and giving up on the stars.
Ack, spontaneous poetry is far too insightful into current train of thought, which is what I was initially aiming for... Humanity is Hypocrisy, which is why I try to stay away from preaching my (wrong) ideals on blog format... says the guy who 'broadcasts his words like artillery fire'. That's an original by the way, don't google it if you don't get it *puffs out chest*.
Okay so wisdom, everyone should have it. Or I am insane and am the only person who does. It's pretty subjective like that...
So... dearest reader(s)* what is the world's absolute truth?
*uennecessary plural most likely
And why won't you say it? there's a space for comments, and I'll plug this on facebook, why don't you use it? Voice an opinion! Talk to the crazy man, he can't hurt you through the computer... *hisses* ALTHOUGH HE'D GODDAMN LIKE TO!! RAARR!! RARRR!!! RAARRRR!! GRRR!! teehee, silliness humour, if you say it using extra adjectives and sound verbose it becomes high brow, very interesting methinks.
Waiting for four words, and I'm not leaving until I hear them.
Just posted something on FACESBOOK. It's a word disassociation. My hypothesis (I just mangled the vowel emphasis in 'hypothesis' for no reason then, it's kind of fun, highly advised, 4 stars) is that NOONE will bother to post a single word. Yes this is another of my cruel social experiments... like dressing as a hipster in ferntree gully and gauging people's responses, or the time I looked at people and licked my lips on the bus... you get the idea, I do the messed up pursuits in the interests of science!! Well it's been there for seven minutes, either people don't get it, or we've all been shoved unceremoniously into an alternate reality where nothing comes to mind at the mention of 'bugbear'. That's right, DEAR (MOST LIKELY) READER!! You are know the 'what's wrong with society'. I THINK I have anybody who reads this on facebook, so you have no excuse.
That's right Angsty Verbose Didactic Preacher CRUCIBLE TONGS, just told you that you are the problem. REACH OUT, quit complaining, sing on a tram, say hi to a complete stranger, paint a self portrait, invite yourself into some random's conversation. The world is boring, make it better. But surely you ask, Mr Tongs, YOU do none of this!! Which is a statement, but this is stream of consciousness so it's cool. You're absolutely right, but this is about the self making a difference, If I started the revolution, you'd have learned nothing. And besides...
FINISHED THAT.
The other day I was at uni, schizzin' about like mad catz when I turned on my radio and was greeted with The Pixies 'Where is My Mind'. And a band adored by Kurt Cobain and Thom Yorke, CAN. NOT. BE. WRONG.
IDOLATRY!! THE ANSWER SINCE THE GREAT MIGRATION
This was a sublime moment in slooshying. I'd come out of a tutorial off my brain on life... and sleep deprivation, stress, caffeine and what's probably insanity hatching in my headspace.
Way out in the water, see it swimming.
THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE!! My mind is way out in the water and I just watch it swimming. You keep on swimming you little trooper. Cos I'll just sit on the beach and watch you go. THE MIND IS ALIEN. Let it go, let it be free to swim. It's cool, it can tread water. So I stopped freaking out at all the crazy junk I was thinking of all day, and cheered him on.
This is 'A Banana Realising He's Realised Something, and He's Just as Terrified as You'd Be'
He won the race? Did I mention it was a race? It was a race, all good now? Coolness!
Actually, I'm kind of glad I came in tonight. I sort of did come up through the window, noone was home. I helped myself to the fridge... and wardrobe. I had a great time writing this. It got a bit crazy for a while, but I'll remember it. Yeah, I'm signing off... BUT WAIT!!!
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?! RIGHT. NOW.
PUT IT IN COMMENTS. MAKE IT WORDS. DON'T END UP AN INSOMNIAC ON YOUR DEATHBED. GO AHEAD. JUST LET THE DAM BREAK OPEN, IT'S NEVER TOO SOON. ME AND NIEL HAVE LAMPS WE'LL MEET YOU THERE!!... probably be watching Wizard of Oz though, so don't bother knocking... Yeah, guess what just came on thanks to the Tiny Shuffle Mormons... ACK! No! Goodbye is like bandaids, GOODBYE!
2 comments:
the banana picture is brilliant... i had the same expression when i realised there was face lurking in the shadows of the image
The face was because it was in my post on musings the other day, but noone noticed it apparently... probably more distracted by the incoherent rubbish I can pass of as writing now...
And yes, the banana was just something I thought then drew... with no regard for the fact that it was in full view of university people who don't know me well enough to handle psychotic expressionism or random bouts of inspired self harm...
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