Give and Take

Alright gang, round 3. Today let's discuss subjectivity. I think it's one of the greatest things about humans, but also most destructive, in regard to cohesion. We're all different because of subjectivity - it's what shapes our likes, interests, preferences etc. This is obviously a very important aspect of our lives, and prevents us from being mindless drones of the system (to use some strange metaphor, I barely understand, nor care much about) - however, there is a downside. Whilst subjectivity shapes what we like, it also shapes what we dislike, and generally the levels are in the extreme. Naturally there is some indifference, but when it comes to socialising, indifference to something is just as bad as disliking it. You can't make conversation on something you hate, or something you don't care about.

Just think about all the people you've spoken to, but then after learning a few things they're interested in the conversation has just died in the arse. Not because you're both mean or because you neccessarily find each other uninteresting, but because you can't relate in anyway. You usually bring up a staple topic, like work, school, relationships etc. However, these can only get you so far. You can't really socialise with someone new if you only talk about your individual experience. At some stage, people get sick of hearing about your past. You  need to be pro-active in mainting a good friendship.

However, this is hard with subjectivity. I see many people who forego their subjectivity, even doing things they hate, to have experiences with the people around them. That's something special. Don't get me wrong, I do it too, but it's not easy. Everytime I go to a house party, there's music, which to me, is absolutely atrocious. Yet, I put up with it everytime I go. Inevitably however, it gets to the point where I don't want to go because I just wouldn't be able to handle the music. It builds up. People can only take so much of things they don't like. You need a balance. Which is why it's up to everyone to try and indulge in everyone's interests. Not just dismiss them straight away - even if you hate them. That's not how we grow as people, and as friends. Like most things in relationships, it's give and take. You're friends to begin with, that means there's some common ground already - you just have to accomodate for each other. There is fun in everything. So give and take.