Damn, I give up trying to find some smartass quote to start this off with... Oh, damnit... the most scandalous thing in my blogging career just became the fact that I don't actually remember any of those quotations I use... Great, before Burroughs even started his literary career he'd killed his wife and fled to Mexico... *tugs collar* Still got it!
I'd really like to delete that first paragraph, it's uninspired, predictable and generally yuck on all accounts... but I've been deleting first paragraphs for ages now. It's why I haven't been posting facebook statuses like one of those machine guns Americans make that cost impractical sums to fire because their dads went to their graves preaching 35 inch genitals... I think last time I tried to just put together a collage of pics that I consider the pinnacle of awesome, but once you've seen the Tiananmen Square guy every other dude in front of a tank/soldier/someone else who's compensating (Guess who today's rant is directed towards!) just seems to pale in comparison... plan B was everyone who's man enough to wear spandex... but I've been warned about that.
Well, D.I.D.'s crawled out of it's spiralling absence of posts, kicked the morphine addiction and got himself a dandy new pair of trousers. Now I've denied it twice, once more and I can be Pope. But yeah, I'm here again to claim MY... group... BLOG!! *Is childishly possessive*
If anything I figured I should pull my weight for a change and post something decent that's not stream of consciousness in shambles or anything...
THIS IS NOT IT.
Ack... that was as far as I'd sort of planned... hmmm, this is a predicament. Talk about something, stupid, what have you done lately? Right, nothing... should've seen that coming...
THIS MEDIUM DOESN'T DO SOLILOQUOY ANY JUSTICE.
Well, might as well fall on what's worked in the past... uh, yeah, so I'm real lonely and stuff, but I'm cool with this... A-and life's totally mad, you get to climb metaphorical mountains and thing. But so once when I was a kid I ate an apple *EDENEDENEDENEDEN THINK. EDEN. FOR. AWESOME. LITERARY. ASSOCIATIONS!*, I realised, 'wow I'm a plague on fruit collectively, but now I know there's a way to...
Son of a bitch! I don't have a quote to tenuously link this to...
Wow... this is just stream of consciousness... AGAIN. Gah, I need something to be indignant about.
Alright, here's something. I want to delete all the above, but nothing else will come to mind. I really hate writer's block. Not the name though, the name makes it sound like I'm some legit published author. Personally I think it's just a lack of confidence in any of my ideas *THIS IS THE PITY CUE*
Alright, ideas I've had lately... ummm... well I had the idea to try some Divine Comedy rewrite, which, for those who don't know *Actually being serious for a second, but I take it most will get this, but on rereading alot of my posts I make some references that are just so stupidly obscure. So now I'm going to actually try and explain things a little more, don't think I'm trying to look pretentious, I was trying to look pretentious before, now it just LOOKS pretentious... work that out!* was basically Dante Alighieri got exiled by the church and wrote them a giant fuck you about an acid trip (or whatever poets had in the 1300's to break society's no doubt MORE constricting norms) where he saw most of his diocese floating around in hell carrying bags or being turned into wind... Uh yeah... Well, anyway this idea was to sort of do a 21st century version, taking massive jabs at the dead in our generation! Unfortunately the Chaser stole my idea preemptively to critical acclaim and we're fully aware most popes wear dresses to sweep their indiscretions under and ALL WORLD LEADERS ARE BASTARDS*. That and not enough people are surprised to learn Winston Churchill was just a warmonger with a way with words...
*proven point, using the principle of human capacity for evil may be a hit below the belt, but shut up
I also had a heap of ideas for beat poetry, but I'm deluding myself that I'm 'hip', 'rad' or even 'wank' enough to pull off anything with a beat with a sliver of competence... In the world of spoken word performers trying to live the musician's dream I'm more of a 'one time radio play of my weak, nasal voice reading a hilariously unnecessary rhyme structure'. But hey, it's a one up from metal bands.
Alright so my one last avenue, utilizing three weeks worth of learning photoshop in year 9 to screw with facebook display pics. Don't say it's not art. The online avatar thing HAS worked before.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/3683260.stm
That's actually a somewhat interesting read, the kid with muscular dystrophy was sort of what got me off the whole 'all you WoW people are freaks with unfulfillable lives' soapbox... but when you're eerily close to signing binding documents as Crucible Tongs, I don't think people take you too seriously.
Anyway, the problem here is... I'm not that good. I just shamelessly follow tutorials and claim all credit, hell, I don't even take most of my own photos. Photos are also an important part, editing really only works well when it's just touching up a photo that's been taken with it's final context in mind from the beginning. I can sort of blame using a grainy webcam here, but there's no way I'm 'hipster' or 'tourist' or even 'land surveyor' enough to get away with taking photos of buildings and awesome trenchcoats that I want to use for nerdy steampunk settings...
Hmmm... yeah this seems like enough, now without further ado, the much welcome return of the self depreciatory apology section!
First of all I'd like to say sorry to my family, I've betrayed all your hopes and expectations, and... oh god, Everyone here at D.I.D., sorry for the lacklustre posting. Oh and my writer for his const... Whoooooooooaaa, No. Please, as if I'd have anything close, plagiarism's my deal... regardless of what any photos have to say in opposition...
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